Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
then he tried to convert me to islam
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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