fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
