And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
