I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
