BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
