I'm jealous of your bromance
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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