you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?