So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
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You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app