At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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