Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize