i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
