You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
