And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
