new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she smelled like a LAN party
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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