why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
