just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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