I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
