we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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