I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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