You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
