Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
