Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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