Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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