She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
