Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
