well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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