mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
