so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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