If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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