She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize