I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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