I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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