I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
