So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
