Do you still have your period?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
