she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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