guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
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Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
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