I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
