I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
