what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
