i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
