I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
