guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize