I got chris browned last night
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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