Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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