Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never want to see another naked old woman again.

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  (724): I never want to see another naked old woman again. http://tfl.nu/5axh
  Replies (15) Good night (665) Bad night (3536)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.

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  (636): My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week. http://tfl.nu/9o0t
  Replies (5) Good night (3719) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.

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  (248): so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse. http://tfl.nu/dgcu
  Replies (12) Good night (745) Bad night (3343)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.

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  (619): There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie. http://tfl.nu/om3k
  Replies (31) Good night (914) Bad night (3604)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer

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  (706): He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer http://tfl.nu/ep3s
  Replies (11) Good night (4351) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

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  (781): I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path. http://tfl.nu/8tge
  Replies (6) Good night (2294) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?

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  (401): do you think she knows her nickname is brickface? http://tfl.nu/y8t9
  Replies (10) Good night (667) Bad night (1681)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?

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  (314): New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there? http://tfl.nu/271n
  Replies (4) Good night (1679) Bad night (549)
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  (209): View more from California

  Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.

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  (209): Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way. http://tfl.nu/s3aa
  Replies (5) Good night (1799) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.

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  (607): You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were. http://tfl.nu/pdic
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.

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  (517): Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard. http://tfl.nu/ngp4
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.

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  (865): Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/r05q
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

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  (412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level

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  (919): I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level http://tfl.nu/r2br
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  It's definitely revenge time.

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  (248): I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes. (1-248): It's definitely revenge time. http://tfl.nu/qj5v
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (283)

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