OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out