I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!