Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????

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  (347): Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck????? http://tfl.nu/jm2n
  Replies (8) Good night (1037) Bad night (4733)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?

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  (719): just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am? http://tfl.nu/1xol
  Replies (41) Good night (933) Bad night (4093)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos

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  (215): i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos http://tfl.nu/9f8x
  Replies (11) Good night (5479) Bad night (864)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

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  (770): my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad http://tfl.nu/o7wi
  Replies (32) Good night (1788) Bad night (8808)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

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  (802): Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle. http://tfl.nu/jhbj
  Replies (7) Good night (3004) Bad night (1505)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.

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  (717): this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl. http://tfl.nu/auau
  Replies (19) Good night (1680) Bad night (4236)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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  (989): in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/9a80
  Replies (14) Good night (1159) Bad night (4865)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl

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  (250): i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/d9d2
  Replies (3) Good night (852) Bad night (2405)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

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  (501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (2246)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.

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  (631): Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof. http://tfl.nu/txgs
  Replies (2) Good night (1342) Bad night (588)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?

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  (613): I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number? http://tfl.nu/y363
  Replies (14) Good night (1295) Bad night (575)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.

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  (210): We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do. http://tfl.nu/emf3
  Replies (6) Good night (1010) Bad night (616)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?

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  (910): So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding? http://tfl.nu/hdxw
  Replies (4) Good night (1174) Bad night (571)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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  (309): It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change. http://tfl.nu/p0m1
  Replies (14) Good night (1118) Bad night (991)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me

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  (413): Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me http://tfl.nu/3euu
  Replies (7) Good night (507) Bad night (1041)

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