that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
