Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
