really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
