haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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