Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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