And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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