But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
