U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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