at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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