I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.