Whats the glycemic index on semen?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet