Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags