Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.