I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i drank out of a bidet.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
