I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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