school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dick has a subreddit
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
