have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize