I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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