Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
