i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Operation Purity has been aborted
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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