they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
