i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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