So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
