Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
