Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
did i walk over a car last night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Randomize
