I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
