Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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